How to Find Your People (and Actually Keep Them)
Published on August 31, 2025
We all crave it: that feeling of walking into a room, a beach, or even a random hangout — and realizing these are my people. The ones who get your jokes, hype you up when you bomb a karaoke song, and stick around for late-night shawarma runs.
But here’s the thing: finding them isn’t luck. It’s a mix of putting yourself out there, following curiosity, and embracing the messy, spontaneous moments that make connections real.
1. Follow the Vibes, Not the Perfect Plan
Your people usually aren’t found through a meticulously crafted five-year friendship plan. They show up in unplanned moments: saying yes to a last-minute beach trip, joining a campus hangout, or crashing a game night. Drop the “perfect timing” mindset. Friendships grow in chaos, not calendars.
👉 Curious about why spontaneity matters? Psychology Today touches on the value of spontaneity and novelty: Winging It: The Importance of Spontaneity.
2. Start Small, Go Deep
It’s easy to chase a crowd, but your people usually emerge from a few genuine conversations. Ask the second question, not just “Where are you from?” but “What’s been your favorite memory here so far?” That’s how strangers turn into story-sharers.
3. Lean Into Shared Experiences
Bonding happens faster when you’re doing something together. Paddleboarding, cooking, studying, even failing at karaoke. Shared experiences create inside jokes, and inside jokes become the glue.
👉 Need inspiration? Verywell Mind covers why time + shared activities matter: Why Can’t I Make Friends?.
4. Embrace the Awkward
Making new friends feels weird. That’s normal. Everyone’s secretly hoping someone else will break the ice. Be that person. Say hi. Make the joke. Suggest the random idea. Awkwardness fades faster than regret.
5. Keep Showing Up
Your people aren’t found in one shot. They’re revealed over time — the ones who keep showing up, texting back, and saying yes. Consistency builds trust, and trust builds your circle.
The Takeaway
Finding your people isn’t about luck. It’s about saying yes to spontaneity, diving into shared experiences, and leaning into the awkward until it becomes comfort. The more you show up authentically, the more likely your people will spot you and think: yeah, that’s one of us.
💛 Want to meet your people the spontaneous way? Join the ImpulsTrip waitlist and hop on the next adventure.